October 11, 2011     ECrisis spots yet another trouble shooting summary of a terrible plague infecting all of Ecuador: the growth industry of lying, useless, selfish manipulators. No one is more emblematic of this mental disease, which never self corrects and always leads to destroyed relationships and sometimes crime, than el presidente Rafael correa, a particularly nefarious master Liar and Narcissistic Manipulator.

Study the report below. Unless you are thoroughly on the take from Correa- and many of you are- or are afraid to Man Up! And stand for honorable life pathways-many today are not- then understand that each of us are called to reject the very reprehensible mandates for living inscribed in our persons by our mothers of selfish, dishonest choices. None exemplify this disgusting trait better than Correa. You want to remove Correa? Remove your own personal manipulations and addiction to narcissism and its kissing cousin- greed, notably seen in taking Rafael Correa’s bribes, also called extortion. Stand up for honor and ethics- for once in a very great while.

Oh narcissists can play the nice person…for a while. Mostly they control. They listen at doors and apply Cubans to spy on you and make up all sorts of lies to control those around them: “Temper tantrums are their birthright. Manners are for little people.  They’re above such time-consuming niceties as decency, kindness, or reciprocity.”  All are out of step….but them.

Playing the victim gets these creeps started: “Since early childhood, they’ve perfected how to manipulate the glow in every room so the spotlight always shines on them. They achieve the role of center of attention by learning the art of seducing the adults around them as young children.  Highly demanding of parental attention from their earliest years, they learn how to attain and to hold their parents’ interest against all comers.  Then they practice on their hapless siblings, and later at school on classmates and teachers alike.  By the time you meet them as adults, they’re masters at manipulating the feelings of others.  You’re putty in their hands…. they turn to their cars, their wardrobes, their houses, their possessions, their collections, their dogs, their children, their alma maters, or even their acquaintances whose achievements or fine reputation can validate their own claim to superiority. Such vehicles, clothing, pets, possessions, houses, children, or institutions are called “narcissistic extensions” of narcissists, meaning anyone, anything, or any place in their lives through whom or through which they can claim they’re in some way — regardless of how tenuous, distant, or vague the connection — “the best…” They’ll harbor lifelong grudges against and even hatreds for anyone or any group who has ever done anything better than they.  They cannot tolerate feelings of being second-best… Their obsessive concern with the surfaces of life is all the more disturbing because they’re sadly lacking in their inner lives, particularly in empathy.  Because they’re emotionally handicapped and cannot begin to imagine how others feel, they’re predatory and need to feed on the insecurities of others, heedless of the warnings of conscience that would afflict those with empathy. They’re incapable of feeling remorse, regret or dismay at their own words or deeds.  People in intimate relationships with narcissists find they spend a lot of time apologizing “

Why is it that Ecuadoreans are always apologizing for their pathetic and wrong-acting persons? Why is it that none stand up and say: “No mas” ?  No wait- Ecuadorean psychologists, such as they may be which is not saying much, inform that it is terribly difficult to deal with narcissistic manipulators and one is better off pretending that all is great and real and healthy when it is not at all.

More: “They enjoy creating scenarios in which they’re in control and others are in pain, and they leave permanent emotional wounds on the psyches of anyone unfortunate enough to be in close emotional proximity to them.  Their greatest victims are their own children, who don’t have the freedom to leave them, except in their fantasies. Narcissists excel at subtle and not-so-subtle put downs.  They’re cynical and sadistic.  They wake up every morning with an overwhelming urge to manipulate their prey.  And to them, we’re all their prey. Narcissists believe they’re special, unique.   They want others to see them as bigger than life. But the grim reality of their inner lives couldn’t be more different from their glittering surfaces. If you get close enough to see behind their masks of bravado, you’ll see a grotesquely rotten core and a Grand Canyon of insecurity under their gorgeous exteriors…. Narcissists are preternaturally preoccupied with fantasies of success.  If they have to lie to achieve their goals, no problem.  No conscience, no empathy — ergo no issues with bald-faced lies. You add it all up — their sense of entitlement, their need for admiration, their exploitation of others in order to elicit admiration and incite erotic feelings, their psychological abuse of their own children to meet their own personal needs, their bottomless envy of others and an unrelenting belief that others are envious of them, their arrogant, haughty attitudes, holding themselves above everyone else — and you can see why you’re exasperated.

With narcissists, you’ll feel looked down upon, although you often won’t know quite why or even realize that you felt that way until after they’re gone…. A “relationship” with such a person is the proverbial one-way street. … One major way you’ll know you’ve been with a narcissist is that there’ll be no golden afterglow.  Instead, you’ll feel depression that will feel like anger turned inward.  And you will be angry with yourself.  Furious.  And glum. You’ll realize that you’ve been under a narcissist’s control and you’ll promise yourself it will never happen again, that you’ll be much more alert the next time. And maybe you will.  But just as likely, the next narcissist will appear out of the blue with a completely different approach and you’ll be had all over again. All you can do is to extricate yourself as soon as you can the next time… The emotional one–way street becomes a dead-end. “

            It remains that there is no one in the narcissists life to actually be in relationship with. Their own self defeating lack of confidence and life experiences keep them in constant, dithering dictates for self fulfillment which will never come from controlling all around them. It never does. This only comes from ending the selfishness of the one and growing up in a mutli-faceted world. But these denizens of sub-standard ethics never ever grow up. It remains all about them- their needs and their power over…..you.

If you do not comprehend the lose-lose pathology of he Ecuadorean loss of human ethics in this sad tale and commit to cleaning up this mess,  stop reading ECrisis. Because Syria and Iran have a plan for you. And you will never manipulate their forces of darkness.

-Pedro Camargo for ECrisis